Month: October 2009

Ever hear the Fleetwood Mac song, "Tell Me Lies"?  That’s what Vodafone should use in their TV and radio advertising.  The lying such-in-such who said he’d call at 09:00 yesterday never called.  Add that one to the original sales guy lying to me about the contract cancellation and I aint happy.

For example: I received a letter yesterday to confirm my new contract AT THE HIGHER RATE.  Seriously Vodafone, you are playing with fire here.

They really have a UPC customer service thing going on.  I’m contemplating a call to Joe Duffy or Ray Darcy now … they love stories like this.  I think I should make contact with my cousin who works in Neswstalk 106 production as well.  It’d make for a nice piece in the prime time Tuesday tech slot with George Hook.  I wonder how that would affect an expensive TV advertising campaign?

I’m adding to this post at the end as events take place.

Back in early 2006 I chronicled my 3 month saga when Eircom hijacked my broadband from BT Ireland.  They refused to deal with me and started billing.  I refused to pay.  A lawyer contacted me and threatened me on behalf of Eircom.  He said I’d never hear from him again after I promised to take his house, car, savings and pension fund.  Eircom eventually sent me a formal written apology.

On Sunday I got a call from Vodafone who I have a mobile phone contract with.  They offered to sign me up to their home broadband for much less than BT Ireland.  Cool, but I didn’t have my UAN number on me.  They promised to call this morning.  They didn’t.  I checked the website and saw a plan with more capacity that was still cheaper than what I have with BT Ireland.  Cool.  I went through the process of setting up a transfer from BT Ireland.

1 hour later I get a call from Vodfone’s sales team.  “Oh, you should have called us because we can save you 15% because you’re a mobile pay monthly customer.  Why not cancel that contract and sign a new one with us over the phone?”. 

F-UP #1: I was signed into the Vodafone website where my pay monthly plan is visible.  Why didn’t the home broadband system detect this and apply the discount?

I was OK with that, on the condition that they cancel the original web contract.  “Oh yes sir, I can do that” was the reply from Vodafone sales.  “I’ll do that now”.  He went on to sign me up for the reduced contract.  We did the contract over the phone thing.  I knew it was being recorded so at the end I was sure to ask if my original web contract was cancelled.  “Oh yes sir, it is”.  He said he’d call back to do some verification.  5 minutes he called back.  “Now sir, you’ll have to call 1907 (Customer Care) your mobile, press 2 and 2 again to cancel the web contract”.  What?  He lied?

F-UP #2: Don’t lie to me.  I don’t like lies.  I hate people who lie to me and who accuse me of lying.  You won’t like me in either of those circumstances.

I called the number and used the exact options he gave me.  You know what that does?  It cancels your roaming international discounts that were forced onto the communications companies by the EU.

F-UP #3: If you give instructions then make sure they are correct.

At this point I decided to speak to a human in Customer Care.  Frances answered and she said she could do nothing so I’d have to go back to sales again.  She transferred me to Corey, a lead in sales.

I explained all of this to Corey.  I explained that I’d like this all to be sorted out quickly and I’d hate to have to get ComReg involved because I was being double-billed because a Vodafone sales person screwed up and lied to me.  He responded: “What’s ComReg”.  I was stunned.  I asked him why he didn’t know the name of the national communications regulator in Ireland.  He and his staff are supposed to be selling according to the rules that they dictate.

F-UP #4: Don’t call me stupid.

Corey then accuses me of being stupid for signing 2 contracts at once.  (A) I was told by his staff member that the original contract was cancelled.  (B) This jumped up Britney headset wearing beyotch who’s dream is to make €25K a year calls me stupid?  I hung up.

F-UP #5: Don’t make me angry.  You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.

I called Customer Care again.  I told them I’d like to cancel “any and all” (I was very clear about this) contracts with Vodafone.  I wanted to be left on BT Ireland without any service interruption.  Regarding the service interruption issue the woman hummed and doged the question like the offspring of Mary Harney and Biffo (there’s an image!).  I said I wanted a “yes” or “no” answer.  Eventually I was told that some time in the future my broadband would go offline and I would then be able to sign with someone else.  And sure anyway, Vodafone were buying the BT Ireland home/SME business.  “OK” I responded, “I’ll switch my mobile phone to O2 as well while I’m at it.  And if I do have an outage, expect ComReg to call you”.  If I’m promised a 7 day cooling off period then I expect to be able to use it.

F-UP #6: I’m a hard negotiator.  Don’t make the mistake of motivating me even more.

I offered this customer care rep an alternative option.  “Fax me a copy of Corey’s P45”.  That’s the form you get when you’re sacked.  “If you do that then I’ll stay with Vodafone.  I’ll consider not bad mouthing your company to every person I meet.”  So there it is, Corey’s job versus my money going to Vodafone.  I was told I’d get some sort of call later today, hopefully from Corey’s boss.  A formal complaint against him was taken.

It reads to me like a cluster-F by Vodafone.  My advice.  If you are looking for Home broadband or DSL in Ireland then steer clear of BT Ireland (because they will be Vodafone soon) and Vodafone.  If this is what sales and customer care are like then the product must be rubbish.

EDIT #1:

This morning I chased up with Vodafone.  I was promised action by midday, a deadline I set.  At 16:00 I get a call.  A weak apology and a promise to call me at 09:00 on Monday.

At 16:45 I took a call from Ian D. in Vodafone Ireland.  Someone told him about my blog post and he’s actioning responses.  Ian was very reasonable.  He beleived the website should have offered me the discounted rate after I was logged in.  He’s going to follow that up with the devs.  I already know that Corey is being talked to.

I’ve agreed to continue with Vodafone.  They are the cheapest land boradband operator in Ireland.  I have no interest in unreliable wireless broadband.  I barely get a phone signal in my house at the edge of town.  My mobile forwards to the landline when I’m here and I’ve sarted using Skype.

Then something disturbing.  Vodafone Ireland is assuming that everyone will be OK with being offline for 3 days during a transfer to them.  They are not sending out usernames and passwords in advance to customers during the transition.  Here’s their flow:

1. You sign up.
2. 10 days later your phone transfers.
3. 21 days after that your broadband transfers to Vodafone.
4. You now have no Internet access, email, VOIP, etc.  There goes your business.
5. 3 days after this outage you get a new router, all configured to go online … assuming An Post doesn’t delay delivery or you’re in when they call around.

I told him this was unnacceptable to anyone who works from home or for any small business that uses the domestic package (many do!).  He took that, noted it and said he’d give that feedback to the product owner.  I followed that up by suggesting that it would be bad to act like Eircom when they are trying to tease Eircom customers away with mass media advertising.  Heck, I should have even said the dreaded UPC!

This is how it should go:

1. You sign up.
2. You get an email & letter with instructions, passwords and usernames.  That’s what happened when I switched over from Digiweb to BT Ireland.
3. 10 days later your phone transfers.
4. 21 days after that your broadband transfers to Vodafone.
5. You change your password/username in the router and have minimal downtime.

We’ll see how this goes.  Ian gave me the broadband username/password.  I told him I would be chasing Vodafone for lost downtime and costs incurred.  My work relies on me being online.  I will be trying to configure my router with them when the inevitable outage occurs.  Any failure will lead to actions being taken due to lost business and expenses that take place to compensate for lost broadband.

See more here.